crazy girl

 I've been in the ARMY. Maybe that won't surprise you. But the events proceeding it may. 

When I first considered the military, I was sitting my my room, late at night watching reruns of law and order. An advertisement came on. The promise of an education and adventure sounded good enough to me. After all, school was ending in a couple months. I had no plan. My grandmother was dying. Just a couple weeks earlier, I had miscarried a baby and my boyfriend had moved to another state. What did I have to lose? The next day, I drove to the nearest Army recruitment center and signed myself up. It all happened so fast.
I was taken to Los Angeles to do an asvab (military occupational aptitude test). Because I only wanted to sign up for the minimum of 2 years, pickings were slim. I was deemed a 92 Yankee, aka, supply and inventory specialist. Then I had to do the physical. Passed with flying colors although I did fib about a couple things. Later that night, tired from a 12 hour day of "hurry up and wait"ing, I retired back to the hotel room. This was when I decided that being in the military may not be so bad. There were hundreds of us staying at the hotel. Some of us were just beginning the journey, others were shipping out the next day to training or even overseas to their permanent duty station. I met a guy and we hit it off and made it back to my room discovering my roommate was nowhere to be found and... I'll just leave it at that.
3 months later, I went back to that hotel because I was flying to South Carolina the next morning for boot camp. Me and the others being "shipped out"  were mortified that we wouldn't be having any fun for the next few months while training and so we went big-  had a party on the  roof, more casual sex and a minor run in with the law after some idiot threw a beer bottle off the roof and it landed near another hotel resident in the parking lot. but before we knew it, we were on a plane heading to our new life.
When we got to "Relaxin' Jackson", I was so relieved to be at a fort that had such a good reputation for being easy. Except for me, it was anything but easy. I had thought that with my athletic body shape this would be a cinch. Who would've guessed I would develop shin splints upon completion of the first 3k run? Who knew that I would not make any friends or that I did not possess good group skills? Who knew that I would become so homesick for a place I despised and my parents would sell their house in California and move to Missouri? Who knew that my drill sergeant would have it in for me so bad?
I spent a part of nearly every day in the nurses office begging for pain pills for my shin splints or sitting out some of the activities because I had on more than one occasion, broken down in tears while on a hike  or running. I was humiliated. The only person whose company I enjoyed got kicked out. I was so alone. So I petitioned that I be given a medical discharge because I felt I could not complete the training course. To my surprise, they responded by telling me I would sit out the rest of the 6 weeks of training but they would not give me a medical discharge because according to xrays, there was nothing wrong with my legs. And I would have to repeat the entire training.

So, from then on, I would get up at 4am and guard an office until 8pm, taking 3 meal breaks and then going to bed. While guarding, I met another girl, a black candid, unatttractive but personable girl whose name I do not recall. I told her how much I despised the Army and would do anything to get out. Of course, there are only 3 ways to get out. Medical, honorary and dishonerary. Since I was not eligible for medical or honorary, I determined that I would go the tough route. And that is when the plan began.
One day, we left the guard station to use the restroom. I drank a canteen which contained all the pain pills I had saved and some bleach. Private whats-her-name then went and informed an officer that she had caught me "trying to kill myself".
I never realized how bad this would get.
Ever had your stomach pumped? Not fun. Not fun at all. Ever lived in a psych ward in a hospital? Definately not fun. Even worse, I had to call my parents under a nurses watch and tell them what I had done. And that I would have to stay in the mental ward of the hospital for the next few weeks while the hospital staff determined if I was a danger to myself or not. And the worse part was that I HAD to pretend that I had wanted to kill myself. I should have just made out with that black girl, we would've been kicked out for being gay.
But the routine in the ward was the worst part. Still had to get up at the crack of dawn and there was a tv but there were 15 of us in the ward so I never got to watch what I wanted to. Instead, I made crafts all day. Stiched moccasin slippers with plastic needles. Colored with crayons. I had to wear paper clothes and socks all day. I could only shower every two days and I shared a room with 2 pretty insane girls. I never figured out how they had passed a physical to get into the army in the first place but honestly, they were insane.
The worst part was when my drill sergeant came to visit me and brought two of the girls from my squad with him so I could have visitors. They looked at me like I was one of the insane girls from my bedroom. They told me that everyone was worried about me- I couldn't believe this, THEY ALL KNEW?? And again, I had to pretend I really had wanted to kill myself otherwise I was afraid they wouldn't let me out. Well, they finally did. But I still know if my parents ever really believed me when I said I didn't really try to kill myself, I just really wanted out of the Army. But one good thing that did come of it- I got an honorable discharge.